Yesterday while chatting enjoying and icecream with a friend at leicester square in London, we were entertaining the idea of winning the lottery. My friend remarked that a 60 million pound win would be too much, but anywhere up to 10 million would be sweet. I started thinking myself what it would be like to instantly have a couple million dollars added to my bank account, just like that.
And I kind of hesitated. I spend so much time building something up from the ground, to all of a sudden have an abundance of resources, that could potentially take away from the challenge, the way I am getting meaning from what I am doing.
It was then that I realized I was quite invested in my circumstances with all its limitations. We are purpose driven and meaning seeking by nature. Taking away where we are used to mining our meaning and purpose from can be uncomforting and awkward.
Purpose and meaning also influences the way we see our identity. Any force that could disrupt our sense of identity feels threatening. In a way it makes us resistance to change.
Psychology literature is littered in examples of how people seek to maintain their image and manage their self esteem. Some very startling results were found when in one study employees reactions were measured in response to a pay raise. It was found that employees with a high self esteem naturally welcomed the pay raise. But the employees with low self esteem were increasingly likely to leave the company!
That was one particular example of Self-Verification Theory where people with negative opinions of themselves want to see these opinions confirmed. People knowingly or unknowingly have a stake in how they see themselves and will try to keep that perception in tact.
It is bewildering, on the one hand we feel unpleasantly contained by our limitations.Whether its our bodies, our salary, our jobs, our living circumstances. But on the other hand we have a stake in keeping the way things are as they are.
It partially explains why some people can be so unwilling to help themselves, even when they have the capabilities and the resources.
Answering the million dollar question, what we would do differently if we won a million dollars over night, can help shed light on where we are getting our meaning and identity from. And then we can reflect on whether we truly want to keep it up, or not. It’s a great litmus test for finding out if we’re doing the things that are truly worthwhile.
What would you do with a Million Dollar windfall?
Coincidentally, my 22 y.o. son and I were talking about this the other day. He said that he would buy a house (worth about $300k), give a couple of million to me and give the rest away. He said that he wants to know that he made it on his own and not to have anything given to him for nothing. This didn’t surprise me since he doesn’t appear to be motivated by money at all – he’s more of a “save the world” by curing cancer type of science guy.
I’m not sure what I would do with a million dollar windfall. But it occurs to me that since I give away a lot of money now – and am not worth a few million, that I wouldn’t really feel that I’d have much need of it myself either. I think I’ve reached that point where I’ve realized that money really doesn’t bring happiness.
We had a guy recently that lives not that far away from me win $40 million in a lottery. He was apprenticing as a welder and in the article he said that he wanted to finish up his apprenticeship, help his family out a bit and other than that he didn’t know what he wanted to do with it. I just thought that was kind of awesome. I wouldn’t have thought that someone could be that excited about having a ticket in welding – but who knows, perhaps he’ll become a world class welding sculpture guy? One thing’s for sure, even if he lost it all or gave it all away, I’m sure he’ll have a wonderful life no matter what.